My Blonde Moment
When I was younger, I was obsessed with short hair. I would look in the mirror at my long blonde hair, which easily touched the bottom of my rib-cage, and wish. I'd wish for shorter hair. My mum adored my long hair, and thinking I'd regret getting the chop, she refused to let it happen for years. Then one day, maybe when I was about eleven, I remember sitting in my hairdresser's chair, thinking;
“If not now, when?”
You see, my hair tends to have a mind of its own. I've always been blonde, and when I was younger my hair took delight in turning almost white whenever it glimpsed the sun. It’s naturally straight, and refuses to curl. I loved it long, and I embraced that for quite a while, but still desired change. I wanted a challenge. I wanted to do something for myself to defy the way I held my presence. A test to force me to explore the way I dressed, danced, walked and talked. A challenge to, well, challenge my confidence.
Over the years, I kept getting cut just a little shorter, not too much, not too little. That was until this time last year, when I sat down in my hairdresser’s chair. I was on her schedule for a simple trim. Just enough off to keep me happy, and enough left to satisfy my mum. “If not now, when?” ran through my mind and “just cut it all off” slipped through my lips, echoing through the room. My hairdresser, has a daring spirit and never hesitates, and a minute later I had a bob. Finally. I felt a release. One that I’d not felt in a long, long time.
My short hair was thrilling, sassy and refreshing. In the beginning, I loved every minute of it. The two minute shampoos, the sweet compliments. Volume was key to my bob, because my hair was still straight and longer on top, while the back was pretty short. I used lots of product and my ghds to achieve a lightweight, everything I'd ever wanted, I just rolled out of bed bob. The way I dressed changed after the snip as well. Skinnies, Converse and easy tees became my best friend. I quickly learned that a bob is no joke. It needs to be shaped, trimmed, and styled. So the growing out process began, and let me tell you, its not an easy one. Keeping my hair healthy, and being optimistic helped me through this process.
This was especially hard when I realised my natural blond hair was slowly turning into a mousy brown. Blonde is key to my confidence, and I realised it very quickly. I hated my hair. It wasn't blonde but it wasn't quite brown either, and it was so not me. So then I got highlights. Highlights are hard too, because you suddenly realise how quickly hair grows. Days after getting highlights my roots were turning brown again, and this winter I grew out my highlights almost completely. But when Spring came around, I realised I missed being blonde. I've always been a blonde, and I want to be blonde forever.
So here I am today. I have a shaggy little bob, and I’m thinking about keeping it this way for quite some time. Not too short, not too long. A lot of people ask me if I regretted chopping all of my long hair off. I won’t lie and tell you it was a walk in the park, but it was good for me. It made me feel comfortable in my own skin and I learned not to shelter myself behind my hair. It also helped me let go of the haunting “what if” that many people never take. If you ever have that “if not now, when?” mindset, I say go for it. Embrace it, and let it teach you things.