That Invisible Thread
I was thinking today about relationships, and the bonds that keep us together and the things that bring us together. What I'll miss most about school, I think, is this: My classmates and I are all unusual in unique ways, with different views, likes and dislikes... some of us couldn't be more different. Yet when you begin a journey, like high school, with a group of girls and guys at around the same time, under the same circumstances, you bond together in un-usualness. The strength of that is immeasurable. J’adore ca. And I'll miss that. That strange bond. As Marina Keegan put it:
"It's not quite love, and it's not quite community, it's just this feeling that there are people, an abundance of people, who are in this together. Who are on your team."
But if these years at school have taught me anything, it must be the realisation that it's so important to be surrounded by people who nurture the innermost you. We share a bond with certain human beings that is so strong, yet so delicate. They’re the people who see us at our best, but also the ones who pick us up at our worst, with no judgement. They are the people who understand, and the ones you can count on. Loyal, true, forgiving, inspiring – the very definition of friendship. True friendship is something to cherish, and whenever it comes around, it’s best to keep it safe. Friends forever, or maybe just for a little bit, each one comes into our life for a certain purpose. They can teach us things about ourselves that we may have been blind to in the past, and the right ones encourage us to be better versions of the person we see in the mirror.
My friends mean so much to me. I’ve realised that as I grow older, and life starts to become more real, the friendships I share with certain people exist on a level quite the same. We are like-minded, creative, and passionately driven towards goals that all happen to be in the same realm.However I got here, I’m so glad I did.
To Shannon, Samantha, Morgan, Kaitlyn, Nadine, Erin, Klaudia, Roberta,
I can scarcely put into words how lucky I feel to have met you all. The other day, when we were reminiscing about how we first met I actually became a little teary thinking about all that has happened since then. The love I feel for each of you is so bursting and colourful, just to be in your presence is the most inspiring and motivating thing in the world. Even when I think about the first couple of months when I started hanging around with you all- when I was kind of awkward and didn't really know you - until suddenly something clicked and I saw you all every day and fell so deeply and affectionately in love with you all, it baffles me to imagine how different my life would be if that hadn't happened. Between us, I feel we can simply do anything. The ten of us are like ten elements that combine in this perfect talisman of positive energy and fate. When we get really excited talking about future plans and all that we want to do, I feel this electricity crackle through my bones and I know, I just know, that whatever we set our hearts to, it will be amazing.
Shannon, we are kindred spirits. There is so much alike between us, of which I'm still discovering the depths of, and I instantly fell in love with you. We both understand and respect what a heartache not being a Hogwarts student is and I think that brings a bond between us that most people don't seem to understand. God I'm actually getting a bit trembly writing this, but my heart is just bursting with gratitude to a point where my brain is annoyed there aren't more synonyms to use.
Samantha, you are like my little oracle. I don't think I've ever connected someone like I do with you. You constantly wow me with your insight, and there's genuinely nothing I feel delicate about discussing with you. You're perhaps the only person I don't feel the need to preface my ideas with 'I know this sounds crazy, but...'. You have the most amazing style, and even though I laugh at those bib things and hate black and blue together; you are so incredibly amazing when it comes to fashion. And music. Sam, your music taste is divine. I love you.
Morgan, where do I start? I’m so glad I met you, because ever since you have brightened up my days and made everything that little bit more hilarious. You've put up with my craziness for so long now, and I just can't believe how amazingly lovely you are. Also, I'm wearing my parrot socks, which are one of my favourite pairs of socks, and have you to thank for having them, so THANK YOU SO MUCH! Seriously, Morgan, I adore you and you're one of the funniest people I know.
Kaitlyn, when you are your own worst enemy, sometimes you need to let other people save you from yourself. You have to believe that it does get better. It gets so, so much better. You taught me that. I thank God for it every single day. You are unfailingly kind, and outstandingly generous, and you're so strong, and I wish I had even a half of that strength. You’re the wisest, most supportive friend I’ve ever had, and it’s amazing knowing that even though I’m a wee pest most of time, you’re still by my side.
Nadine, you are so amazing. We have the exact same sense of humour, style and passion, and even though I love nothing more than to take the piss out of you, there are often times where I'm taken aback with your talents and musicianship, and just how bloody good you are at being good at stuff. In the past year, most of my happiest, funniest moments have been with you, and you never forget anything! You blow my mind, and I seriously do not know what would do without your hugs in my life.
Erin, you're a nutcase, but you’re always so happy, and I love that about you. It takes a special, beautiful kind of person to ask for selfies with a waiter, but I'm so glad you did. I'm so glad to have someone to walk home with, and I'm so sorry for all those times when I've done nothing but rant the whole time. You make me laugh so often, and you're so cute, I can't help but love you.
Klaudia, one day, when we're both super famous and amazing journalists/novel writers.. please let's still be friends. WE COULD BE LIKE HARPER LEE AND TRUMAN CAPOTE. I think this should be a thing. I can't wait to read your stuff, and I just love you so much. You're the cutest person I know, and your drawing is so good! Honestly, if you ever stopped writing, I swear you're basically an artist already.
Roberta, before I knew you, all I knew about you was that you were exceptionally smart. Now I know you, I realise that it’s a mix of natural talent and working so so hard. You’re always there to lend a hand, and even though you never answer texts, your random compliments and dirty jokes make my day. You’re amazing, and you deserve everything good in the world, because God knows you bloody work for it. Your pixie hair is so beautiful, and I think you're so cool, a level of cool I aspire to be on, but am too small too reach. I love you.
Being reduced down to your darkest and most pitiful depths of human despair, where that little twinkle of hope gets slowly distinguished by this clouding mass of creeping black smoke, I could only ever pray to have been so lucky as to peep through the cracks in my fingers and notice a small little glow heading my way, to look up, and see there in front of me, each holding little flickering lanterns, holding out hands to help me find the way back, are these people who love me. Who care about me. People I love so dearly and never ever want to take for granted. I love you lot. You might never know how much you've changed my life, but I want you to know that without you I would be half the person I am.
Thank you dearly, for so much.