I'm Living Life In The Faslane
On Friday it's Charlotte's eighteenth birthday and everyone goes round to celebrate. It feels strange to me that so many of friends are eighteen now, having seen how much they have changed and grown in front of my eyes. I dance around and everyone keeps giving me drinks until things begin to melt together. We sit outside and the music is blaring and nearly everyone around me is drunk. We have sleepy conversations about school and moving away and our beliefs as we dance and photobomb and pose for pictures we won't remember being taken tomorrow. Some wake with regrets, I wake with memories of a night well spent, having made new friends and reunited with old ones. It's one of the last parties we'll have in high school, possibly the last one leading to the inevitable Monday morning what happened at so in so's party conversations.
I never thought I'd be nostalgic about school. But as Monday dawns, the beginning of our last week of high school, the conclusion to a story that spanned six years of my life, there is a pain that settles in my chest and stubbornly refuses to leave. It's a week full of lasts. We have in-school parties and chilled out study sessions, spending more time looking back and taking photos than actually studying. I've never had so much cake in such a short period of time. Presents and thank you cards and nostalgic ramblings are the order of the week. Thursday is our last official day of school so we have a breakfast party in English, signing shirts and arguing about the best type of syrup (#teammayple) while Charlotte makes pancakes. Sixth year is told to go to Snapdragon for break (it's our school restaurant) and everyone is hanging about. There's a very nostalgic, 'do you remember when....?' atmosphere surrounding everyone and my shirt is covered in messages.
We have our last ever assembly, even though it seems like no time at all since we sat in the theatre on our very first day at this school. One of the teachers has made jibjab videos of everyone in silly music videos and for the first time when it the lights are turned off nobody screams. Maybe, just maybe, we've matured a little bit since that very first assembly. Fr Thomas says mass, and I serve for one of the last times. I always hated serving in front of my year group, but my seat is positioned in such a way that I can see everyone. It's as if I'm staring an an old yeargroup photo. I pick out friends and imagine them as they were when we first met, young and excitable, back when all of us still had our natural hair. I wonder how many of the people staring back at me I will ever see again, and what they will go on to do when we leave this place. We go to snapdragon for lunch and they've made veggie bean burgers and it's such an exciting moment. I want to see Caitlin and Zara before I leave but we're not being allowed out so Erin messages and tells them to come to us so they can sign our shirts. We have one more modies squad hug before they have to go to homeroom, and promise each other that we'll keep on living life in the faslane as per our group chat name, and that Missouri is not a state. I don't think I've ever laughed as much as I have than when I'm with these girls.
A bunch of us go out for dinner when school ends, walking up to our town's sleepy old train station in the rain. Getting off at Glasgow Central, there is a sort of peace that comes over me, and stays with me as we exit the station. Comfort, familiarity, there is no doubt in my mind this city is home. As we walk up Buchanan Street I say to Shannon ' I'm going to miss this city' and she says 'how could you not?' and as always, she's right. We wander round the shops before it's time for dinner. We eat in hard rock and our waitress is the loveliest and for a moment, everyone looks really happy. I'm so proud to call these people my friends.
|#livinglifeinthefaslane Me, Erin, Zara & Caitlin|
|klaudia and me|
|Caitlin, Zara, Erin and moi (#missouriisnotastate)|
|English with Chazza|
|advanced higher english class photo|
|Me, Samantha and Kaitlyn :)|
|samantha and me|
|with silvana (#silvan4ever)|
|back of my shirt|